Happy New Year guise!!! I hope you guys all enjoyed your New Year’s celebration…
How was my celebration? Uhm, let’s see. I didn’t celebrate it haha. Honestly, I wasn’t even waiting for the clock to hit 1200 o’clock for 2016. I thought well, it’s just going to be another year. “New year, new me” hahah really? I mean obviously every year people change. People are not gonna stay the same each year… Including me. Thoughts, personality, looks,.. everything. You name it. They all changed.
For me? I don’t know. 2015 did quite a lot of damaged on me and I’ve noticed myself changing each year. I’m not the same as I was 2 or 3 years ago. I was happier, enjoying things, fewer problem I think. The way I think, and look at things,… they are all different now. My defense mechanism also changed. How different though?
Well back then, I was more optimistic, cheerful, do things that actually make me happy and most of the time, I feel at ease. I never cared of how I look, the way I dressed or what I think about how people look at me. But I think as I grow older, I feel myself changing,… more mature (?) and surprisingly, I started taking people’s nasty comments seriously. I’m still optimistic but it wasn’t the same as I was few years ago. I’m still happy but happy in a different way… Actually now, I’d say I feel more blessed instead of happy.
Seriously, I hate the fact that these nasty comments started creeping in my soul… Like “you are so fat. You need to lose some weight.”, “ I think you should take care of your face because look at those pimples.” , “ you’re so stupid.” , “be a little bit more feminine. You’re a girl, not a tomboy.”… etc etc etc. People have been telling me these stuffs since few years ago… Family, friends (new/old), everyone… you name it. But I didn’t care. I gave zero fucks. I just laughed it off… But like now, whoa… I can’t believe that I’m letting those comments affect me. At some point, I take these comments as a challenge to change. But then, why should I change? For people? Hell no. I don’t live to satisfy people. But since it’s been bothering me a lot for a while now, and it’s 2016, so it’s game time! I’m going to change for myself and just to make your jaw drop, eyes poppin’, heart melt (lol joke)
Hahah but for real though, if you guys set goals to change, change for yourself and change to be better. Don’t do it for other people cuz they don’t worth your time. If you haven’t live a happy life, take this chance to live happily. If you get hurt a lot because of others, lower your expectations. But that doesn’t mean that you should stop loving people. Love first, then you’ll be loved.