I’m a sinner

Hey y’all . I know I still have to post a writing about Eid and Summer vacay ’16 but lol I still need to edit the videos. Right now my schedule is quite packed but I’m just trying to find excuses to procrastinate and try to do something just so I feel like I’m productive. HAHAHA. Anyway, this post is more about a dark past that I’ve been reflecting about.

So yesterday, one of my housemates was very shocked at how her friend was being extremely social. She drank, got a little tipsy and was definitely having a lot of physical contact with her boyfriend. Malaysians are quite a conservative considering that many are Muslims. Plus, we are Asians too so that’s an extra. My housemate was telling us a scene that she witnessed with a lot of emotions which cracked me up so bad hahahha. But, to be very honest, I felt guilty and sad at the same time.

Guilty because I was a girl that is full of sin. When I poured my feelings to a guy I liked, I set no boundaries for myself. But thanks to my insecurities, the boundaries was then set. Which then I realized that I’ve made a mistake. One that I really regret it.

And of course I was sad at the same time. I was sad because the girl still doesn’t realize how valuable she is until life hits her to the bottom pit. Like I was. And if it wasn’t for my family and friends support, I don’t think that I’d be able to be up again.

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Throwback high school

Hey guys! I got that throwback, missing people moment today and guess what I found? A lot from last year! Here are the three videos that I found while looking through my folders.

A video of my class, Class of 2015 walking around the school for a clap out.

 

A video of my class, Class of 2015 receiving our diploma; officially completed High school.

A very motivating speech from my beloved teacher and friend, Ronnie Caldwell (still need to find my time to post this up).

I was just watching these two videos that my dad recorded and I was literally like damn. I miss high school. I should have spent my last year in high school better while sending lots of love to everyone.

Check those videos out, if and only if you are interested! Otherwise, leave it. HEHEHEH

What it feels like to be an international student

After 1 month, I finally got a wifi set up in my house. Yay! More post to update. Hewhewhewhew. I’ve been writing on word docs wondering when I will be able to post it. Obviously I can bring my laptop to class and post it up there but you know the feels are different. I feel more excited posting it up when I am home on my study table. Anyway, enjoy the post that I wrote few weeks ago!

Perks of being an international student

If you read my title, you’d probably thinking that maybe you will be able to relate to my post or maybe you are thinking of how lucky international students are. But this is why I am actually writing this post. I will tell you how somewhat lucky for being local students.

So this is what I think is like to be an international students.

Honestly, having friends around you are like bomb dot com. That’s how most students are able to cope with teachers and the stressfulness of the assignments and exams and stuffs. But a very little percentage of people like to be alone and I am definitely not one. Duh. Here’s the catch.

If you are one of the local students, just know that you are so lucky because when you go back to your hometown once you entered college or uni, you know there will be some friends waiting for you. You know that you will be able to have a mini reunion with your friends. And you will be so amazed looking at each other and realizing how matured you have become. You will be so amazed at how good looking your friends are. If you have your little clique since you were in elementary, you can meet each other once seasonal breaks start! Good lord, do you guys have any ideas what international students like me would do when I go home and there’s no one for me to meet?

Okay, fine maybe I do have about one or two that I was closed with back when I was in elementary. But again, they are not the people where I spent my time together since middle school. They are not the people who I spent my time ranting about my boyfriend cheated on me or how I was such an asshole for betraying my best friend and spent days crying in my room (because guilty lol). They are not the people who were with me when I was at my worst and when I was the top shining super-star! The feelings are different. Because you know, once you graduated from high school or once your family moved to a different country or city, the chance of meeting your friends altogether again is almost impossible.

Talking from own experiences you know how shitty I felt when I look at my last yearbook? You know how shitty I felt when I look at my album and saw pictures of my friends and realizing that it was the end of our bonding. You know how shitty I felt every single time I think about how far we are physically from each other and realizing that it is almost impossible for all of us to be reunited again? And do you know what is the shittiest? Facing the painful reality that on your wedding day, most probably none of them will be able to make it.

At this point on, I have always wanted to have my own little group of friends where I can be myself and not worry about getting judged. I’ve always wanted the slumber party at our own rent apartment where we can talk about anything, and watch movies and just fall asleep. Oh, life would be if I have my best friends around right now. But I guess it is time to move on and just make new friends and spend ample amount of time together. Enjoy while it lasts!