Being different

Hey! Maybe many of you may be thinking that I am living a very great life, with stable emotion and good physical condition. Great! Alhamdulillah you guys think that way because I have been living in an absolutely great condition and I don’t wish to live differently. But, after living away far from family some things have slightly changed. Life isn’t always about good stuff. It is mixed with different tastes. And at this point, my life was slightly bitter and salty.

I am different.

My way of talking,

My way of dressing,

My way of reacting,

My way of handling problems,

My way of approaching,

My way of cooking,

My way of worshipping,

My way of believing,

My way of praying,

They are all different than other people.

But one thing I know for sure that I’m no different than others.

I am a human being too.

I eat, drink and breathe.

I have a heart and I have feelings.

I get sad when things are not good

And I get happy when things are right

But why am I being treated differently? What makes other people better than I am? My religion? The way I dress? Do you know that it is illegal to discriminate other people because they have different beliefs or race or culture? Yes before living separately from my family, I never once thought about getting discriminated. I never once thought that the hijab that I wrapped around my head, covering my hair would make people look at me strangely. And I never once thought that being as who I am would be the obstacle for me to get myself a job.

Let me tell you a sad story of mine- a memory that is still fresh playing in mind. It happened last Saturday, when I was watching a movie with Nura. I received a phone call from one of my Uni friends. They were so excited to let me know that they found me a job, 30 mins away from my place. I couldn’t control my happiness and I screamed with joy on the phone. I was extremely happy and excited and nervous all at the same time because, I never worked before. I couldn’t wait for Monday because that would be my first day at job. Then Monday came and I dressed appropriately, putting more red lipstick on my lips hoping that I wouldn’t look so pale for work. But as soon as I entered the shop, the noisy restaurant suddenly quiet down. I ignored the stares that I received and hurriedly putting myself an apron. I worked hard at cleaning the tables, sweeping the floor, washing the dishes, etc.

The clock was ticking, but it didn’t pass 15 mins yet and I got called by my boss. They told me to remove my hijab. My heart sank. I could feel my blood rushed through my whole body. I could feel myself tearing up. But I froze at disbelieve. While patting my back, they continued ” I don’t mean to disappoint you or anything, but I don’t want to lose my customers if they see you wearing that weird thing on your head.” Weird. My hijab in which I put on as part of my religion is being called weird. I told them I couldn’t. I tried negotiating with my boss saying, that they can cut my salary to $5/ hour as long as I can keep my hijab on.

Of course it wasn’t that easy. So they hid me in the kitchen instead of serving the customers. The told me to clean under the sink and the pipes under it. Washed every single chair that was in the restaurant when the customers left with a sponge and a bucket of water in hand. The told me to sweeped the floor with a little broom so I had to get on my knees in order to sweep the floor. My back was hurting, my right knee that is still in recovery from the surgery two months ago was aching. But I did all of these works because I insisted in wearing my hijab.

But guess what happened on my second day of work? Yes, I got fired. I was told to quit. I received my salary still and that made me happy but when I asked my friend to find the reason why they fired me, I heard rumors from other workers there. Apparently, they said that I made a lot of mistakes. I wasn’t friendly enough to the customers that came when in reality, I didn’t get to serve one. I was also blamed that I forgot to put in one of the orders that the customer ordered which was why I was fired after two days.

Did I cry? Yes, I couldn’t stop myself from crying while walking back home. At first, I held my tears because my friends were around. But as soon as we went separately, I couldn’t help myself but to cry. Everyone was staring but they said nothing. I slept in while crying, not being able to finish my work. I tried to get a hold with my parents but the timing was different. I tried talking to my Malaysian sensation but they were busy too so I couldn’t bother them with my problem. I talked to one of my best friend, Asad and my older sister, Iqa. I felt better but the next morning when my parents called me. I cried again. I went to class that day crying. My classmates and my teacher asked if I was alright but my mouth wouldn’t tell the truth and I ended up telling them that I’m fine.

I tried to get a grip of myself. I tried to ignore people’s stares. I tried to feed myself positive vibes. It is hard. But I tried as much as I possibly can because I know there are still people out there that still care for me. That’s still against discrimination. So I’ve been putting myself up and not letting myself down.


I can’t adult!

As I walked down the small alleys from the train station to my house, there were thousands of things that went through my mind.

“Oh, maybe I should start searching for a part-time job”

“Nah, maybe I should just study”

“But I don’t think I will have enough savings for shopping”

“Well, I think I should start cooking first”

When I finally reached home, I finally decided to be a complete adult– well at least practice to be a proper adult. I told my friends that I was looking for a job and if they can recommend me at their work place. I just thought it wasn’t a bad idea to go to work together after class ends. So I was told to write my resume and I wrote a very crappy resume because there are not a lot to talk about anyway. I’m lacking out of experiences and I’m lacking a lot in so many ways. Yes, sad truth.

Since I’m already lacking in so many aspects, I decided to cook myself meals instead of eating instant noodles which I have been eating for the past weeks whenever I’m home. So I told my Malaysian sensation crew that I needed to get myself groceries. Thus our weekend was quite boring especially on Sunday because all we did were the adult responsibilities and just cry everytime we check our bank account balance. We still did a lot of fun stuff though on Saturday but I couldn’t process everything yet because honestly I am starting to feel very exhausted! Maybe through  Nura’s Blog you guys can get the idea of our Saturday date.

I don’t have lots to tell about this week especially but by far I have tried new things and there’s also a good news that I got over the weekend! The lists below is the overview:

  1. I cooked myself rice, and side dishes! I shared my first meal here with my housemates because they came to the kitchen and told me that they smell somehting really good! I gave them a good impression of Malaysian food. Hahah kidding
  2. The good news is, I got a call from my friends on Saturday and they told me that I can start working on Monday which is tomorrow! YAY! I am slightly nervous but I’m more excited to try out this new experience!
  3. I have been learning Tagalog these days and by far, I am able to understand the language and I can actually have a conversation with my Filipino friends in Tagalog. That just makes me feel really happy because I really learned a lot!

Weekend getaway

Beep boop beep… Ayeee~ Finally weekend, and it’s my first weekend of Uni life + three days weekend. Woott woot~ So what is up this week buds?

I made friends! Oh Em Gee .

Sounds absolutely craaazy! I actually made friends that have the same sense of humor as I do! Thought it was hard to find these crazy people but yeahhh, everyone was very funny and welcoming at school and home. So I think I’m adapting very well in this new place called home. But I must tell you that I am NOT living as a complete adult yet because I haven’t cooked myself a proper meal. Heh heh heh. Not very surprising but I have been eating instant noodles for dinner, bread with nutella for lunch and cereals for breakfast for the past few days. YAY still surviving!

As for the daily routine life, quite easy. I chose morning classes. The morning classes didn’t choose me so it was REALLY hard for me to get up in the morning. The bed is always comfier in the morning rather than at night. I had to make sure my parents call me and check whether I am awake or not. Ugh, guilty. Of course, as always, I always take approximately 2 hours to get ready, dressed and eat breakfast. Then around 7:30ish, I get to the train station and catch a train there. Again, not a very surprising news. On my third day of Uni, I was running late and I ran to catch the train. If I was 3 mins late that day, Ya Allah! Bless me. HAHAH. Then, the train ride is about 15 mins, get off, walk about 10 mins. Less than 10 mins if I go through the mall and window shopping before class starts. Heheh. Then at 13.00 o’clock, class ended and I go home, sleep. That’s pretty much my daily routine living alone.


New friends yayaya~


The Filipinos called it Pabebe waves


With the crazy heads friends


And most importantly, with the housemates!

How about the weekend getaway? Oh pfft of course. It is mandatory to go out with my Malaysian sensation on weekend. Weekend is like THE DATE you know.

Sep. 03. 2015

Nura fiqah (you see what I did there? HEH HEH HEH) and I went to the AUG Mid- Autumn Festival. It was an event for students getting to know each other. To break the ice between us and the rest of the people, they organized games which they got the idea from a Korean variety show, Running Man. Good show I tell ya! Of course, the ripping nametag game is included. Anyways, I came there for free food. It wasn’t a WOW event really but I still enjoyed the weather, the games, the food and the playground. By the way, Saturday isn’t really mandatory. We gathered because there was an event so might as well hangout and have fun yeah?


“There’s a spider on your head!”

Sep. 04. 2015

The very well planned event but due to not waking up early as planned, the WHOLE itinerary changed.

What we planned vs. What actually happened. 

We planned to meet at the Central Station at 8:00 o’clock in the morning wearing skirts and looking cute, artsy, hispter and all. From there, we were supposed to take train and go to Bondi beach and take BEAUTIFUL pictures. After that, we were supposed to watch a movie that costs $6.00 ! I tell you $6.00 for a movie is SO CHEAP here. Why? Because the usual price is $20.00 and $17.00 students’ discount. Anyway— After we finish watching our movie, we were supposed to take a train, buy lunch and go to a reserved park where people sit around and go for a picnic. Then? Yes, then… after getting tired and had fun and all, we were supposed to head home.

But guess what happened?

ALL OF US WOKE UP LATE! The latest? ME, of course. Instead of 8:00 o’clock, I woke up at 8:45 o’clock. The rest woke up at around 8:00 o’clock. HAHAHAH . So what happened? We gathered together before 10:00 o’clock at the Central. From there, we went to Bondi beach and NO ARTSY PICTURES. Why?

  1. I was the only one that wore skirts -_- ; those losers ended up wearing jeans.
  2. The sun was scorching hot! I could feel myself burning especially when 90% of my clothes are black! There are no escapes.
  3. The beach was crowded with surfers and swimmers and yeah just people really.
  4. It wasn’t as beautiful as expected.


Bondi Beach

So? So… We ended up taking train back to the Central. We were so hungry because we skipped our breakfast, so we decided to grab our lunch at Thai Restaurant and fill our empty stomach. I pigged out. Instead of going to the cinema and watch movie, and grab lunch and go to the reserved park, we went to the beach, eat lunch and went to the Circular Quay. Took a lot of pictures and videos. Played rock paper scissors on the stairs so it took us approximately 30 mins just to get on the stairs. HAHAHAH. It was fun though because it was us. We are fun people. There we found a good spot for resting and we rested there longer than expected. Of course, we still took pictures, videos and being crazy and loud. Then we head home.


With my girlfriends


Our friendship, is your goal

I am extremely tired today from having too much fun! So I am very thankful that I still have another day of holiday because I still need to finish my homework, and do some reviewing + cleaning day. I also still need to wash my clothes that I have been keeping in this small basket for a week. I am running out of pants and shirts to wear! xD

Readers, please also anticipate a weekly vlog and blog updates from my dear girlfriend, Nura. HAHAHA. Check out our fun times on her blog,


This is Ha, signing out. PEACE Y’ALL!